I Had An Accident Today; I Forked Myself by: brendasue

Welcome Everyone, please come in.


I had an accident of sorts today.  I have decided to share with you the events of this accident as you won't believe it.


It started out a great day, sun shining, birds singing, more hummingbirds coming in.  I was really looking forward to today. I have a friend in town who is mostly blind, so he does not drive (thank goodness). Anyway, he said if I would give him a ride to Cypress (Tx), he would buy me lunch at my most fave restaurant:  Shogun.  As you know, I live in the woods, so the Sushi Bar is not down on the corner. The friend is six months older, so he is already sixty.  We have to plan these trips better as we age. 
I was to pick him up at his place in town at noon and that would put us in Cypress at 1:00 (after the lunch rush, but before closing).  At 12:15 I was calling him from my home phone saying I was heading out.  (Of course he said where have you been, it's noon).  I had to relate that I was almost there and had to turn around and come back, and now I was heading out again.  Why?  To which I said:  'I do not want to tell you as you will laugh'.  No, he won't laugh. I said no big deal, I got almost there and realized I forgot my teeth (my false teeth). He laughed so hard, I hung up on him, and went to the car to go to town (again). He was still laughing when I arrived at his place 15 minutes later. (People can be cruel to old ladies).
We made it to Cypress in about 45 minutes. Perfect timing as it turned out, for the rush was over and we got a booth right away. (This is a very popular Place as the food is great). I enjoyed looking at the menu and thinking of all I wanted! I settled on the 'shaggy dog' and a salad. So far everything was great. Nice table, nice waiter, beautiful place and good food coming. Crowded, but not loud. So, the reason I am relating this adventure, is to show how things out of our control just happen sometimes when you least expect it.
We ordered and were having our Tea when my salad arrived with a fork in the bowl. I took a bite and it was a great salad. Cold crisp lettuce and perfect dressing. My Buddy's Sushi came and he was happily digging in. I was chatting about how good the salad was, stabbing another piece of lettuce and putting it in my mouth.
As I was lowering my fork something happened. I could not move my fork out of my mouth as it was stuck on my lip. How weird is that? My mouth was open and I was trying to figure out exactly  what was happening. When I pulled on the fork it was like a fish hook in my lip and only pulled my lip which hurt.  I was trying to grab my napkin with my other hand and the lettuce was falling out of my mouth and drooling salad dressing. I could see there was no blood, so at that moment, that seemed good. Of course, I could not talk. All my mind could think was how did a fork get stuck on my lip. My friend, who could not see any of this as he is blind, said: 'brendasue, what are you doing?'  I said I am trying to figure out what to do as I have a fork stuck to my face. (Of course, this was funny). He said well take it out as it was making him feel weird.
To which I said: 'Making you feel weird, how do you think I feel, it is stuck in my lip. (Of course, you can't talk very clearly when your lip is swelling and a fork is stuck in your lip). He questioned what happened to which I replied, I did not know because I can not see it, but It felt like the fork had gone through my lip. (Of course he couldn't see it as he is blind). So I decided the best plan was to go ask the young hostess to look at the lip and see how the fork was stuck.  I used my linen napkin to cover the right side of my face and just part of the fork handle was sticking out from the napkin on my face. I glanced around to see if everyone was looking and no one was, so I made my way up to the hostess by the door. Well, I guess this young girl thought I was going to rob her since I had a napkin covering my face. Her eyes were wide and she was trembling. I said:  'I am not going to hurt you I have a problem and I need you to help me.' She was shaking her head yes. I said under the napkin, I have a fork stuck on my lip and I can not see it. Could you look at this and tell me what is happening? Well, she was shaking her head yes, but as I was in a Japanese restaurant and turns out she did not speak enough english to know what I had said. I lifted up the napkin and the poor thing just about fainted and just kept saying she did not know what to do. (oh brother) Now her reaction gave me concern that this was worse than I thought, so I went running to the bathroom with a napkin over my face and the fork handle sticking out.
I got up to the mirror, holding  the fork in one hand and gently curling my lower lip down with the other hand to see how I had managed to stab my lip. Well, I could finally see that 2 of the tines on the fork were bent together with my lip meat in between the tines! I was relieved there was no stab hole in the lip.   At the table when I was dragging the fork out of my mouth, a piece of lip got caught in the bent together tines and when I continued pulling it, the lip meat just got more stuck. Looking in the mirror in the bathroom, I could not pull the tines apart to free my pinched lip. I covered my face back up with the napkin, peeked out the door and saw a lady manager. I went to her and said that I have a fork stuck to my lip because the tines of the fork are bent and stuck together. I asked if she could help me by getting some pliers. Her eyes got big and freaked out also. Apparently when one tries to talk with a fork on their swelling lip in English to a Japanese Manager who is afraid, something is lost in the translation, as she followed me back into the bathroom. She was able to look closely at the fork and determine (I thought) the problem.  She said she could help, so she took hold of the fork. She tried to pull it off, which hurt very much. I took the fork back out of her hand. I said please get me some pliers so I can pry the tines apart. I even made hand signals in the manner that pliers work (pinchers).
She must have thought I said scissors and she said no, she could not give me scissors to cut the fork out of my lip. By now, talking was getting painful and the lady was almost crying, but I managed to say: 'I am not going to cut the fork out of my lip, I am going to pry the fork tines apart to free my lip meat.'
She must have thought I said go ask somebody else what to do as she indicated she would be back. I said okay, no pliers, please bring me a knife. She comes back with a spoon. I said where's the knife?  Well, the advice from the kitchen must have been do not give her a knife. She said I can not give you a knife or you will cut your lip. (Of course I am thinking how can that be any worse). I glanced down and she had a steak knife in her hand. I said: 'Give me the Knife, I will not cut myself. Finally, with knife in hand I go back to the mirror, roll the old lip down and hold the fork up. My sweet Japanese nurse is right there watching me. I slip the knife in behind my piece of lip on the fork and turn it which unsnaps the bent together tines and my lip pops out of the fork! No blood, but a big swollen knot like you get when you bite your own lip. The poor Lady could not quit apologizing. I examined the utensil that had me in a real lip lock, and I told here this was too cheap to use in restaurants and to throw them away before someone gets hurt.
I made my way back to the table. My friend wanted to know what I had been doing. Oh not much I said, just trying to get a fork out of my face! I guess this is probably one of the only times he benefited from being blind by not having to see me with a fork attached to my lip.
I want you to take away several things here that I just learned today that I did not know for the past 59 years:
1. You may plan to have a great day, but sometimes other things happen that you could not see coming.
2.  Always check your forks before you put them in your mouth to make sure the tines are not bent together.
3.  If you ever find yourself with a fork in your face, never ever let a scared lady hold on to it and pull.
4.  If you go to Japanese Sushi Bars, use the chopsticks.




We will return to our regular Nature Class on a page tomorrow. Just had to share this incredible forking with you!




......this is brendasue signing off from Rainbow 
Creek


(yes, I have a fat lip tonight)








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